We all know why we’re here: to get laid – ideally tonight – and you’re not looking to waste time downloading apps that don’t deliver. Don’t worry, we took the time to find out how hot (or not) these top five dating sites are, so you can cut straight to the good part.
Around since 2006, Badoo has time on its side. In 2016, they were even the most-downloaded dating app across twenty one countries. They call themselves a “dating-focused social network,” emphasizing that they’re more about making connections than making lovers. However, when you get on, you see that’s not exactly the case. It’s really all about hookups. The site itself is active, easy to navigate, and focused on connecting you with cute local singles. And according to people who’ve used this site, it really works.
What’s the catch?
While there are a lot of people on the site and it has a lot of international recognition, for the U.S., it seems like a site that’s full of straight men and woefully understaffed in the lady department. You’re also constantly pushed to to buy credits and other bonus features. While not a bad site, these two things, paired with the outdated layout, have me wondering if you’ll get much action stateside.
Hot or Not, with a totally up-front premise, isn’t here to make you new friends. It’s not here for you to find the future parent of your children. It’s here to get you laid. As I registered, I noticed it looked suspiciously identical to Badoo. With a little more research, I realized it was, in fact, just another offshoot of the same company. You can like “guys,” “girls,” or both, set your age preferences, and just like that, you’re in.
What’s the catch?
Well, it wasn’t just the layout that looked like Badoo. Some of the profiles were identical, making me wonder if this site duplicates profiles to bulk up the numbers. In addition, you get that same Badoo pressure to make extra purchases all the time – but where Badoo pays off with real connections, Hot or Not seems more like a scam. Online reviews report that the site likes to take your money in confusing ways and not offer any customer service to help you get it back. If it’s between this and Badoo, you know I’m not choosing this one.
With a pair of people in their forties holding each other on the login screen, FirstMet wants you to know they’re here for love. At first, it looks like a refreshing departure from dating apps for the younger crowd, and people over forty may think they have a shot at getting a date and finding some affection. But the further you go, the more the mirage falls apart.
What’s the catch?
This site loves glitches. In fact, they can’t seem to get enough of them. They’re known to ban profiles and deny photo uploads without cause. Worst of all, nobody seems to actually get laid. As it turns out, the branding, layout, and simplicity targets older crowds because they may not be as hip to contemporary scams – so look out, Gen X and Boomer friends; this app cares more about your cash than your love life.
A little kink never hurt anyone...too badly. KinkD unlocks the doors to all your dirty little fantasies. By letting you specify exactly what you want, what your fantasies are, and what you’re into, KinkD connects doms, subs, mistresses, slaves, and everyone in between. In addition to a traditional Tinder-style match system, users can message folks they haven’t met with, filter by hobbies, and enter a monthly (clothed) selfie contest.
What’s the catch?
What’s good doesn’t usually come cheap. While KinkD isn’t the most expensive, you do have to subscribe if you hope to get any real functionality out of it, especially unlimited messaging and filtering your searches by their roles (slave, master, brat, etc.). And while you do connect to real people, they may be far away. Even if you’re in a big city, expect only a few dozen matches at best. Finally, watch your wallet; tons of users report being unable to cancel their paid accounts.
With a litany of questions to make sure you’re whittling your suitors down to only the best matches, JAUMO seems serious about hooking you up for the love connection. They want you to be compatible in ways right down to religion, eating habits, and whether you want children. JAUMO’s layout is tidy enough to have you thinking it might just be the one you’ve been looking for. With so much attention to detail, they must be doing something right...right?
What’s the catch?
Unfortunately, most of those connections are thousands of miles away, making it hard to actually get sexy or build any kind of a relationship. Living in a major city didn’t even help – I had only two ladies to connect with and about two hundred men, letting me know that this was one site that had some serious issues with gender disparity. It seems like the only way you can strike gold is if you live in Mexico – a lot of users are from there. Otherwise, you may want to pack your bags and get ready to travel for the right match.
TL;DR
It’s hard to find an sex app, or adult site, that works in getting you really connected. Out of these five, JAUMO has a lot of potential but little delivery, and Badoo seems legit, but doesn’t come free. KinkD, likewise, seems to have a lot of kinky potential, but with such niche interests, it just hasn’t picked up the pace. Straight women may have the most luck on these apps, as they all seem a little guy-dominated, but they’re worth a go if you’re looking to get it on.