first dates

First dates can be super exciting and the start of something fresh and new. They can be the beginning of a great relationship or a fun fling. On the other hand, they can become a total disaster. First dates open up realms of opportunities to screw things up. As the saying goes, you can’t take back a first impression, and we see first dates as a couple hour long first impression. We’ve all had horrible first dates, and we’d be crazy to say that we wish we wouldn’t have any more bad ones. Thankfully for all you singles out there, we’ve summed up the things you should never do on a first date. These tips might not guarantee that you win over that crush of yours, but it should guarantee that your first date isn’t a total flop.

1. Guys, you’ve got to foot the bill. Ladies, let him pay.

Now we’re all for equality among the sexes, and yeah we know it’s 2015, but we think that this is a bit of an exception. The main reason we say that guys should pay on the first date is the awkwardness that could follow if they don’t. We’re all for girls paying the check sometimes once a couple has been dating for a bit, but for the first date, just let chivalry take it’s course. You never want money to cause awkwardness, but, unfortunately, that happens more than we’d like. Guys, just assume you’re footing the bill, and ladies, don’t fight with him to split it or offer to pay the whole thing.

2. Don’t overdo it.

We know that first dates are the ideal arena to impress each other, but be sure that you're not too over the top. Example? Inviting her over to dinner and having a display of 40 candles lit and rose petals on the floor. Need another example? Bringing two tickets to the baseball game that’s later in the week and asking him if he wants to come. By all means, if the first date goes well, then you both can move onto more romantic and progressive gestures. But during the first date, keep it simple and don’t overinvest too much. It can turn the other person off and put too much pressure on something that should be light, enjoyable, and fun.

3. Don’t grill them, this isn’t an interview.

Obviously the main point of a first date is to get to know someone better, but that doesn’t mean you should play 20 questions. Let the conversation flow the way it’s meant to, so if it gets deep, that’s okay, but don’t go digging for information. Generally speaking, first date conversations shouldn’t get too intimate, deep, or personal. The last thing you want your date to feel like when the date is over is that you just put them through the third degree.

4. Don’t sleep together.

Again, we know that it’s 2015 and sex should be done whenever and wherever as long as it’s two consenting adults involved. Call us old fashion, but we think you should always play it safe and not sleep together on the first date. At this point, you guys are still basically strangers, and sex could make things awkward or go wrong really fast. Sex with someone you’re not emotionally connected to doesn’t always go the way as it does in the movies. Since you guys aren’t entirely comfortable together yet, and since you barely know each other, the sex could simply be bad. Then any chance of you two getting together again is slim because let’s be honest, bad sex ruins everything. Play it safe and wait until you genuinely feel comfortable and connected enough to have sex. Trust us, it will probably be worth the wait.

5. Make sure you're not negative or complaining.

Sure, we all have our moments where we complain, whine, and feel super sorry for ourselves. But a first date is the last place to let any of that happen. It’s not a great first impression to be complaining, talking smack, or bringing up issues you have with others on a first date. Sure, this stuff is okay to vent about to a good friend, relative, and partner, but not someone you’re just meeting over dinner. Try and keep it positive and leave out any negative nonsense.

6. Never bring up your ex or exes.

This should be a given, but some people feel the need to bring up their ex or exes on a first date. It’s honestly just unnecessary and could say more bad things about yourself than good.Sure, the people we used to date were a big part of our lives at one point, but that doesn’t mean you need to share good or bad details from your previous relationships. It could give off the message that you’re not over your ex, or simply make you look bad. Talking crap on anyone is a bad move on a first date, but talking crap on your ex is a major no-no. It makes your date think about how you’d be in a relationship, and not in a good way.

7. Talking about kids, marriage, dream homes.

We obviously know that most people’s intentions on first dates are to explore pursuing a relationship with someone. With that being said, it’s totally inappropriate to talk about what your dream wedding location is, or what you want your kids names to be. Serious talks about marriage, kids, and settling down could make you seem desperate or even a little bit crazy. You don’t want to give off the vibe that you’re expecting this to turn into something serious because you barely even know the person yet. Even if you are hoping for the best and can see you and this person having a future, keep those thoughts to yourself for now.